Time flies.........

Once again I start a blog and before I know it I am so behind with posting. I promised myself so many things when I retired. Make at least one handmade card each day, blog at least twice a week, set and complete challenges each month!! So what happens? I am so busy that I can't get into a daily routine.
At the beginning of each busy week I look forward and think - at least next week will be quieter - but by the time I get to Friday the following week is full. There are still important things that need doing but making appointments is not as easy as you think. I had hoped that I could  just phone and choose when I want my eyes testing or when I want to discuss my mortgage- no it is usually a couple of weeks away and I can't commit.
I am still loving being at home. I am half hoping that my job application will not be successful. Finance is the only reason for going back to work. I am not bored, I don't need my time filling in, I am not missing the work environment at all.
So now I need to look at all the lists I have made in the last five weeks and start ticking items off . It is a cliche but I really don't know how I managed to work full time!!

Deeper thinking

My thoughts are now turning to the  future. I have had a complete break since finishing with Cruse; I promised myself to have the rest of August just to wind down.
Our conversations are now turning to what needs doing with regard to the house. We have a few choices but each has risks. We have spent our married life taking risks but not so much the last few years .
We will continue to discuss the options and maybe take some professional advice but I am ready for whatever needs to be done.

We have been invited to a "Presentation" evening by Cruse. I really don't want to go but also don't want to let anyone down. I have managed to quickly "de-Cruse" myself and I can just feel stress again thinking about having to attend an event with me as one of the main focuses!! Not my scene and I would rather the monies stay in the "pot" for service delivery!!!
I am busy decluttering the rooms, cupboards, shelves etc. Phil keeps asking me to relax but I am quite happy doing it. I can't stop completely so this is purging the organised part of me quite well.

My swimming challenge did not happen because Julie and I were so relaxed just chatting that we did not get as far as the spa!!! Next time maybe . I have bought a new swimsuit ready!
I now have to look at this blog. At the moment I am just  doing it for myself and I am sure I have no followers but then I don't have the set up yet to invite any.

So let's get the weekend started and make my to do list for next week. I am looking at job availability every day but not with any enthusiasm!! The post with Cruse has been filled by Clare and I wish her well. I am breaking the ties completely once my fundraising efforts are fulfilled............

Birthday girl

Today is my 66th birthday and that is so hard to believe. Where have the years gone? Hubby said to me yesterday I am still that cuddly young girl he married. Bless! I have made him an emergency appointment with Specsavers!!
I don't feel my age, I don't act my age. Then again there isn't a stereotype for age any more. I find it impossible to age people these days . I compare them with me I suppose but always get it wrong.

I am coming towards the end of my first week away from Cruse. I can't believe how happy I feel. I can't believe how little I miss it. I can't believe how easy it has been to switch off. Until tonight, when I have struggled to sleep, I have been really relaxed.
Today I am spending the day with my baby girl. We are having a spa day. It has been a couple of months since Julie's  birthday when we last spent time together. Lots to catch up on.

I am coping with being at home with Phil. I forget sometimes that he has a problem but have been reminded this last week. I have made it clear though that I will not get stressed out with him. If he has one of his "moods" then I will just busy myself in my craft room until he comes around. I am also not going to get stressed out about any of the kids. Unless they ask for help I will just be here in the background. They have their lives to lead and don't need me to fuss.

I am praying that I can afford to stay at home and won't need to find a job. I think that will be up to me to budget well enough!! I am enjoying the freedom so much right now.
It is now 5 am and I have been awake since 2am. I need to try and nap at least. I am going to attempt my first challenge today. Can I swim? Will I sink? Maybe I can float?
Watch this space xx

The beginning

So ...... I have arrived at the beginning of my next Chapter. The last week in work was not as enjoyable as it could have been. I gave 11 weeks notice so I could ease myself out and someone else in but that takes two sides to get it right.
I have left copious notes for "whoever" takes over but the signs are that the process will change beyond recognition.
Ten years ago I had two days handover and then made the job my own. I hope the new person is allowed to do this.
On reflection I had a lot of freedom around how I did my job but the pressure was still the volume of work and the deadlines.
All done now and the only deadlines are getting to my lunch dates on time!!!
Technically I am just on holiday until Thursday but I dont expect to be called back for any reason so I am making new plans as from now.

I need to set this blog up nicely soon . That is a challenge for the end of this month. I have my swimming challenge on Friday which is my 66th birthday. How ridiculous!! I must check my birth certificate as I am pretty sure there must be an error there!!!!

September I start walking on Thursdays with Elaine and Tracey. That will be interesting. Twenty years age difference so my challenge is just to keep up. My knees are so much better since I have lost my first stone . I hope to lose another one although it seems to be a bit slower in coming off now.

I am going to start making my lists today. I will use my lovely black notebook which contains some pages of Cruse suggestions. But I will just keep those pages in for historical value!!

So 8am Sunday 10th August and it has sunk in that I am no longer Cruse Bereavement Care North Wales Area Administrator!! I am just ME.

Let's get on with what I want to do now. I need to still have a routine as that is what I do, but it can be a flexible routine ....... Sounds good to me .

Supportive friends

Now that I have finally made the decision to leave Cruse my friends couldn't be more delighted. They are almost as excited as I am. Every time I sound as if I have the slightest concern about the future they rally around with " it's exciting", " it's  a new chapter" , " now you can do just what you choose".

Of course they are right. I now have the opportunity to choose how little or how much time I spend working.
Throughout my life you could say I have been lucky in that , bar one, I have loved every single job I have done. How many people can say that?? I have moved from one job to another with ease and as a natural progression.
Cruse has certainly been the most rewarding but the most pressured. Now I have reached the stage where I don't need the pressure of a rewarding job. I have enough to do to fill my time with family and fun stuff.
Yes it is exciting, a new chapter and an opportunity to choose. But for now I still have 11 more days in the office, making sure I leave it just how I would like to find it. I wish lots of luck to the new administrator whoever that may be. It is a very different Cruse to the one I came into in 2000.
My time is done and now it can be all about me. Time to be a little bit selfish and why not indeed .

A picture of me....

So there is a convenient space on this picture to describe who I am and what I do. At the moment it is a mystery. My heart is leaning towards my craft as long as my purse will benefit. I think my days of intensity are over and 14 yrs dealing with bereavement has more than paid my dues.
Art therapy may be an option. It has certainly been very therapeutic for me since I started crafting about eight years ago.

I collected my Masters yesterday at Bangor Uni during a " rabbit in headlights experience" .
 I certainly was not my organised self!! So do I look for courses or just go out there with the knowledge and passion that I already have. I need a crystal ball!!!

So in 16 days my Cruse chapter will be over bar  the shouting. Exciting, scary but inevitable!!! Watch this space ................

Some future challenges

On returning to my blog this morning after a couple of years of "no bloggin" I realise that I need to make it more fun. So my September challenge will be not only to bling up my blog but to find my way around my ipad generally.

I love all new gadgets, have to have them no matter what! Then I am intimidated by my lack of ability. I don't normally need classes. I can usually work it out myself, sometimes with the help of my buddy Nick. ( to be honest, mostly with Nick's help! )

So number two challenge is already planned. I am thinking that I may not be able to limit myself to one challenge per month! Those of you who know me can be sure that if I say it out loud then I will definitely do it. So if you have any suggestions throw them this way !

I do have one challenge this week and that is my graduation. It's been a long time coming and should have happened five years ago really. I have a Masters! Yay who would have thought??

Bye for now..... Xx

The next chapter

My time with Cruse North Wales comes to an end on 8th August. After more than 14 yrs of both volunteering and paid employment I am moving on. Although I have mixed feelings about what to do after I finish I have no doubt that it is the right decision.
My mantra in life has always been "While the good outweighs the bad , hang on in there. When that changes then think carefully about what to do" .
So I thought carefully and decided to end my "Crusing"  days.
I have no idea what comes next. I have ideas darting in and out of my mind, some just pipe dreams and some a possibility. I do need to earn some pocket money for my crafting addiction though.
One thing I am sure of is that I now have the time to conquer some of my fears and also face some of the challenges that have previously defeated me.
I intend to attempt one significant challenge each month for the rest of my life. Hopefully I will have long enough to attempt many .
My first challenge will take place on 15th August, my 66th birthday. My baby girl is taking me for a Spa day to Tresygawen Hall  (a treat from my lovely son- in- law). I am going to go into the pool and attempt to swim at least a length!! I have never learned to swim but I really want to.

So Challenge number one will be to swim ................
I don't have a list of challenges so will decide on the first of every month and then achieve it
 ( positive thinking) by 15th of that month.

I have abseiled, don't need to repeat that. I have been white water rafting- definitely don't need to repeat that! Not all the challenges with be extreme. Some may be simple tasks like making a pavlova- who knows!

If you want to keep m e company and maybe encourage me that would be great . Xx