Deeper thinking

My thoughts are now turning to the  future. I have had a complete break since finishing with Cruse; I promised myself to have the rest of August just to wind down.
Our conversations are now turning to what needs doing with regard to the house. We have a few choices but each has risks. We have spent our married life taking risks but not so much the last few years .
We will continue to discuss the options and maybe take some professional advice but I am ready for whatever needs to be done.

We have been invited to a "Presentation" evening by Cruse. I really don't want to go but also don't want to let anyone down. I have managed to quickly "de-Cruse" myself and I can just feel stress again thinking about having to attend an event with me as one of the main focuses!! Not my scene and I would rather the monies stay in the "pot" for service delivery!!!
I am busy decluttering the rooms, cupboards, shelves etc. Phil keeps asking me to relax but I am quite happy doing it. I can't stop completely so this is purging the organised part of me quite well.

My swimming challenge did not happen because Julie and I were so relaxed just chatting that we did not get as far as the spa!!! Next time maybe . I have bought a new swimsuit ready!
I now have to look at this blog. At the moment I am just  doing it for myself and I am sure I have no followers but then I don't have the set up yet to invite any.

So let's get the weekend started and make my to do list for next week. I am looking at job availability every day but not with any enthusiasm!! The post with Cruse has been filled by Clare and I wish her well. I am breaking the ties completely once my fundraising efforts are fulfilled............

Birthday girl

Today is my 66th birthday and that is so hard to believe. Where have the years gone? Hubby said to me yesterday I am still that cuddly young girl he married. Bless! I have made him an emergency appointment with Specsavers!!
I don't feel my age, I don't act my age. Then again there isn't a stereotype for age any more. I find it impossible to age people these days . I compare them with me I suppose but always get it wrong.

I am coming towards the end of my first week away from Cruse. I can't believe how happy I feel. I can't believe how little I miss it. I can't believe how easy it has been to switch off. Until tonight, when I have struggled to sleep, I have been really relaxed.
Today I am spending the day with my baby girl. We are having a spa day. It has been a couple of months since Julie's  birthday when we last spent time together. Lots to catch up on.

I am coping with being at home with Phil. I forget sometimes that he has a problem but have been reminded this last week. I have made it clear though that I will not get stressed out with him. If he has one of his "moods" then I will just busy myself in my craft room until he comes around. I am also not going to get stressed out about any of the kids. Unless they ask for help I will just be here in the background. They have their lives to lead and don't need me to fuss.

I am praying that I can afford to stay at home and won't need to find a job. I think that will be up to me to budget well enough!! I am enjoying the freedom so much right now.
It is now 5 am and I have been awake since 2am. I need to try and nap at least. I am going to attempt my first challenge today. Can I swim? Will I sink? Maybe I can float?
Watch this space xx

The beginning

So ...... I have arrived at the beginning of my next Chapter. The last week in work was not as enjoyable as it could have been. I gave 11 weeks notice so I could ease myself out and someone else in but that takes two sides to get it right.
I have left copious notes for "whoever" takes over but the signs are that the process will change beyond recognition.
Ten years ago I had two days handover and then made the job my own. I hope the new person is allowed to do this.
On reflection I had a lot of freedom around how I did my job but the pressure was still the volume of work and the deadlines.
All done now and the only deadlines are getting to my lunch dates on time!!!
Technically I am just on holiday until Thursday but I dont expect to be called back for any reason so I am making new plans as from now.

I need to set this blog up nicely soon . That is a challenge for the end of this month. I have my swimming challenge on Friday which is my 66th birthday. How ridiculous!! I must check my birth certificate as I am pretty sure there must be an error there!!!!

September I start walking on Thursdays with Elaine and Tracey. That will be interesting. Twenty years age difference so my challenge is just to keep up. My knees are so much better since I have lost my first stone . I hope to lose another one although it seems to be a bit slower in coming off now.

I am going to start making my lists today. I will use my lovely black notebook which contains some pages of Cruse suggestions. But I will just keep those pages in for historical value!!

So 8am Sunday 10th August and it has sunk in that I am no longer Cruse Bereavement Care North Wales Area Administrator!! I am just ME.

Let's get on with what I want to do now. I need to still have a routine as that is what I do, but it can be a flexible routine ....... Sounds good to me .